Highly Agitated

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Thank you, Jesus.

So Tom DeLay and Newt Gingrich are in a media hissy fight. Check out this excerpt:

[DeLay] added that the impeachment trial [of Clinton] was another of his “proudest moments.” The difference between his own adultery and Gingrich’s, he said, “is that I was no longer committing adultery by that time, the impeachment trial. There’s a big difference.” He added, “Also, I had returned to Christ and repented my sins by that time.”


See? The key is to catch people committing adultery and impeach them before they have a chance to return to Christ and repent their sins.

Once they return to Christ, it's like being on-base in a game of Tag, and you can't do shit.

Olly olly oxen free, I've returned to Christ!

Friday, March 02, 2007

March

Sometimes it's hard to believe it's America in 2007 and our political discourse is still so moronic.

Bush/Cheney assert that the Brits withdrawing their troops is a sign of success in Iraq, but warn that any withdrawal of American troops will only aid, abet, and motivate "the terrorists."

How to reporters hear these statements and not have their minds blown by the inconsistencies and contradictions?

In the meantime, Paul Waldman has left Gadflyer and started his own blog. He just addressed a topic dear to my heart: Supporting the troops and supporting an incompetent, arrogant president are very, very different birds. Please check it out.

Paul's indignation matches my own, and I really hope his line of thinking percolates up through our societal discourse. Right now, the inanity of the outrage on this topic (with Obama and McCain using the word "wasted") is numbing me.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Hiatus until December

Coming soon: more humor, less politics. More posts, less logic.

More more, less less.
(More or less.)

See ya soon.

Monday, November 13, 2006

Dumb.

Conservatives are really coming unhinged. From a casual acquaintance on the right:

“I think this country has taken a moronic and dangerous turn with this past election and before the Dems are through, hundreds of thousands will pay the pay price with their lives right here on American soil. And when it does you dumb fucks will still be trying to figure out why you can't just all buy the world a coke and a smile.”

A few things.

First, if I had made this prediction about the 2004 elections, he would have accused me of hoping for American deaths to prove a point.

Second, where did this assinine assumption come from that liberals don't take terrorists seriously? Given how many new terrorists Bush/Rove/Rumsfeld have made due to their inexcusably poor decisions, I'd say that liberals truly are more concerned about terrorism then conservatives.

Next, I don't need to review all the ways that Bush has weakened our country. And yet, paranoid idiots like this are convinced that Bush ~and only Bush~ can save us.

Dumb.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

See ya, Rumsfeld!

Henny penny, the sky IS falling on the man who cost so many lives due to his complete bungling of the illegal Iraq invasion.

Have to hand it to Rove: getting all the bad news out of the way at once is definitely the way to do it. Far better than firing Rummy in 2 weeks and and giving the Dems ANOTHER big news day.


Also, it's been about 20 hours since polls closed in my town, and I still haven't seen any video tape of the terrorists partying in the streets.

I realize that they're probably too busy partying there to party here, but still. Where is the celebration?


Also: Hey Northup, don't forget your rubber stamp, you worthless shill.


Finally, now that the Rove/Delay coalition of the evil is disbanded, will many Republicans go back to being fairly sensible (if not greedy) like they were under Bush 41???

Rejoice!

We've hit a speed bump on the road to total despotism. For my kids' sake, I'm elated.

However, let's not lose sight of what happened here.

Last night people voted against Republicans. My sincere hope is that in 2 years they're voting FOR Democrats because they're doing such a good job.

Not that I'm overflowing with hope for the party of disorganization, but you never know.

Anne Northup, Rick Santorum, Chris Chocola, Mike Sodrell...enjoy your lobbying jobs, you corrupt fucks.

Friday, November 03, 2006

As Beavis would say: "Liar! Liar!"

You really have to see this. Click here and then click on "here."

This former Evangelical leader:

1. DID call a dealer to buy meth, but NEVER used the meth

2. DID get a massage from a gay prostitute, but NEVER had sex with him


I'm not sure if even die-hard Bush voters can fool themselves into believing this one.

But hey dude, thanks for surpressing the Evangelical vote in the election!

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Hiding behind the troops again...

Bush just can't stop hiding behind the troops. It's pathetic.

When accosted because he was AWOL during his National Guard duty, he says, "Don't attack the national guard!"

When his idiotic invasion of Iraq is questioned, he says, "Why do you hate the troops?"

When Kerry makes fun of his stupidity, he says, "Why do Democrats hate the troops?"


No one is ever attacking the troops, as Bush well knows. But Bush can't stop hiding behind the troops.

Coward.

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Onion Resurgence

Check out this piece from the Onion. What makes it so funny is how true it is.

Think of this the next time you hear our rich bastard candidates talk about the struggles of the working man.

American Terrorists

According to Pres Bush, about 50% of the country are now terrorists!!!

No, they aren't just people who disagree with Republicans. They are terrorists.

I expect the feds to be here soon to pick me up. Nice knowing you all.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Privacy shmivacy

Enjoy.

The Google. Jesus.

I realize that older people don't always keep up with technology. Remember when Bush 41 was completely unaware of electronic scanners at grocery stores?

However, it's an absurd reality when we have leaders who are so out of touch with what we plebs do on a daily basis. Take the Internet.

A month or so ago we had Senator Stevens (R) talking about how the Internet is "a series of tubes." The Daily Show mocked his comments, but it's difficult to make fun of something that is already that ridiculous.

Recently a reporter asked Bush 43 if he has ever Googled anyone or anything. W's response: “Occasionally. One of the things I’ve used on the Google is to pull up maps."

I guess I blame their aides, mostly. Who else is responsible for making sure that these people stay in touch with the people over whom they are presiding?

The Google. Hold on, I need to go use the email.

Monday, October 23, 2006

Think Stink

Don't miss Bill Maher taking conservative think tank's to task.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Freedom dirge

Fifteen years ago, if you had told me that Keith Olbermann would become a beacon of American values in a dark sea of despotism, I would have scoffed.

Little did I foresee how easy it would be for a handful of nefarious Republicans to vitiate the most fundamental American beliefs, or how willingly the Democrats, the media, and the public would go along for the despairing ride.

Here's Olbermann doing what he can to save us from ourselves.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Hobbies

Have you ever wistfully pined about not having a hobby?

Well, check out this guy and reconsider. Maybe you're better off without one.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

The Report

I love Stephen Colbert because he's able to deal with all of the Republican devilry and still poke fun at it. Perfect example.

Me? I just get ornery.

Kill the puppet 2.

An article in the local paper sites several sources all claiming that recent polling shows Northup and Yarmuth in a dead heat.

Northup has a LOT more money and is airing a lot of negative Yarmuth ads, but I'm not sure if that's going to matter.

People finally seem unsettled by all the turmoil in the country and are starting to realize who to blame. So Northup can slander Yarmuth all day, but ultimately it comes down to this:

Who is responsible for all the problems we're now facing? Not Yarmuth. Not the Dems who've had no power at all for 4 years.

And that's why Dems might take both houses of Congress in 21 days. All they have to do is not be Republicans.

Of course, if they don't get some vision and strategy, it'll all be for nothing.

Monday, October 16, 2006

Kill the puppet.

With elections just 22 days away, national Dems have finally realized that rubber-stamp Republican Ann Northup is not a lock to beat John Yarmuth for KY's 3rd Congressional District seat.

Like most cities, Louisville is fairly liberal and gets quickly more conservative as you leave downtown and start heading to the burbs. So there are certainly votes to be had for Yarmuth.

Last I heard, neither camp was willing to release internal polling data, which I interpret as a good sign for Yarmuth...reasoning that if Northup's polling showed her crushing Yarmuth, then I'm sure she'd be trumpeting that as often as possible in an attempt to make Yarmuth seem like a neophyte with no chance, subsequently telling voters: "Why even get to know him when he has no shot at all?"

With Yarmuth not releasing his polling data either, my guess is that they both have him 8-9% behind Northup; not enough for her to brag about, not enough for him to predict an upset.

Northup doesn't deserve her seat. She has enabled Bush on every misguided (and sometimes illegal) initiative he's put forth. She has no desire to act as a check or balance, brazenly telling constituents that she'll do what Bush tells her if elected.

Another puppet.

Cut the strings, 3rd district! Cut the freaking strings!

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Heads, I win. Tails, you lose.

From the backwards world of Bill O'Reilly:

"Now, the reason North Korea is causing trouble is that it wants to influence the November election. As we discussed last week, Iran's doing the same thing in Iraq -- ramping up the violence so Americans will turn against the Bush administration.

That is not a partisan statement. It is a fact. America's enemies are emboldened by the stalemate in Iraq and feel they can do anything they want to do. They also hate Mr. Bush and want to weaken him as much as possible."


Get the message?

If things are going well in Iraq, it's because Bush is doing a great job and so we should vote Republican to support him.

If things are going poorly in Iraq, it's because Bush is doing a great job and so we should vote Republican to support him.

See? Bill is fair and balanced.

Fear confirmation

I'm not just making this shit up. The Wash Post agrees:

"...At the same time, the White House plans to amplify national security issues, especially the threat of terrorism, after North Korea's reported nuclear test, in hopes of shifting the debate away from casualties and controversy during the final month of the campaign."

You scared yet?

Monday, October 09, 2006

Answered prayers

Rove's prayers have been answered in the form of North Korea testing a nuclear missile.

Bad news for the world? Absolutely. Great news for Rove? Definitely.

Now they can move away from Foley's pedophilia, Woodward's damning accusations, and Iraq's ongoing catastrophes, and get back to what they do best: FEAR!!

Time for a new bete noir. Be afraid, America. If you don't vote Republican, then North Korean communism has already won!

Don't get me wrong. This situation has to be dealt with. But please note that Bush has done NOTHING to engage North Korea or diffuse this situation for years. He labeled N. Korea a member of the "axis of evil" and then ignored it. He even denigrated Clinton's successful engagement policy.

So don't let Bush play the fear card over this. This is a threat only because of his ongoing and inexcusable incompetence as a leader.

This is a failure for which he should be ashamed. Instead, Rove will try to portray it as an unfortunate threat to which Bush will stand up.

And the media? They'll play right along.

Friday, October 06, 2006

Happy freaking holidays

Enjoy an early, non-denominational present, liberal heathen swine.

And to the other parents out there, please enjoy this.

Damn, it's good to be king.

President Bush, again defying Congress, says he has the power to edit the Homeland Security Department’s reports about whether it obeys privacy rules while handling background checks, ID cards and watchlists.

In the law Bush signed Wednesday, Congress stated no one but the privacy officer could alter, delay or prohibit the mandatory annual report on Homeland Security department activities that affect privacy, including complaints.

But Bush, in a signing statement attached to the agency’s 2007 spending bill, said he will interpret that section “in a manner consistent with the President’s constitutional authority to supervise the unitary executive branch.”



So exactly what can't the prez do? Does this sound remotely like a democratic system of checks and balances?

I wish I could interpret the constitution at my whim.

(Thanks to TPM for highlighting this info)

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

I made Ken Mehlman gay!

No, not in that way.

After the recent success liberals experienced in turning Rep. Foley into a pedophile, I decided to use my liberal powers of darkness on Ken Mehlman. I conjured a cathexis of my left-wing beliefs and successfully changed Mehlman's sexual orientation.

The difference is subtle, but it's there. Take a close look the next time you see him on television. When your gadar starts going off, you'll know I've done it.

Muuhahahahaha!!!!

Next task: turn Cheney into a tranny!

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

YOU made Foley into a pedophile.

If you support gay rights, gay marriage, freedom of lifestyles, and generally respect for "the pursuit of happiness" as long as it does not harm others, then YOU made Rep. Foley into a pedophile.

The Wall St. Journal, Michelle Malkin, Limbaugh, Cal Thomas, and other right-wing hacks are actually laying the blame of Foley's pedophilia on our "liberal, post-modern culture."

Every time I ask, "Are there no depths to which this trash won't sink?" The answer keeps coming back, "Hell fucking no."

It's disgraceful that these people and media have any credibility at all in our culture. They are despicable, partisan hypocrites who seek to vitiate the marketplace of ideas with lies and dissembling, not foster honest discussion and analysis.


While I hate to see it come at the expense of the pages and their families, the fact that the Repubs tried to cover it up is making life very, very difficult for my buddy Rove.

With this disgusting scandal, Woodward's new book, continued deaths in Iraq, Condi caught lying again, etc., Rove's playbook for the fall elections is totally out the window.

Instead of attacking, they're defending constantly, and looking worse and worse in the eyes of the public.


Anyway, back to you. When Clinton had an affair with another consenting adult, that was him showing that he is a profligate, vile bastard.

When Foley attempted to seduce and bonk teenage boys working at Congress, that was your fault, you liberal loser.

Monday, October 02, 2006

The Values Party!!!

So, Repub. Congressman Foley resigned a few days back for emailing and IMing with teenage boys who worked at Congress during the summer. Some of the highlights include him:

+ Asking a kid, "Do I make you a little horny?"
+ Asking a kid, "Did you spank it this weekend yourself?"
+ Asking a kid if he was wearing his boxers and urging him to sit back and "relax" while they chat
+ Asking kids for pictures of themselves

Further, there have been reports that Foley had a known issue with boys since 2001, and possibly since 1998. Fortunately, the Republicans gave the issue the old "Catholic church" treatment and kept the lid on it.

So Bush, the head of the "values party" is surely going to condemn this pervert who has been predating on teenagers, right?

Wrong.

White House Press Secretary Tony Snow went on CNN and said, "... there have been other scandals as you know that have been more than simply naughty emails."


Please, take a second, and IMAGINE if this had been Ted Kennedy or Howard Dean or Barack Obama. Just imagine the fallout, the right-wing screeching, Limbaugh's utter outrage, Coulter's hysterics.

Just imagine. But hey, it's just naughty emails, right?

Ahhh, it's good to be the values party, particularly when you only apply those values to judge other people.

Worthless scum.

Thursday, September 28, 2006

Pardon me. No, seriously, pardon ME!!!

So Bush is trying to retroactively pardon himself for the war crimes he's committed the last few years, and the most corrupt, rubberstamp Congress of all time is playing along.

Please go watch this video clip to learn more.

These people are such cowards. It's amazing that they're able to pawn themselves off as brave. Whether they're hiding behind the troops, frightening people into voting for them, or trying to pardon themselves for past crimes, they are always craven and disgusting.

And where, where, WHERE are the Dems who are decrying this monstrous legislation?@!@#?@#

Torture

So the Repubs are furiously re-writing torture and detainee law as an election stunt, and the Dems are terrified to stop them. This is frightening for America.

Please, please read the following NYT editorial from today's edition. Technically, it's a pay site and I shouldn't be posting it. But it's too important for me not to post, and I bet the ~50 people who hang out here won't get me arrested over it. Anyway, read on:


Here’s what happens when this irresponsible Congress railroads a profoundly important bill to serve the mindless politics of a midterm election: The Bush administration uses Republicans’ fear of losing their majority to push through ghastly ideas about antiterrorism that will make American troops less safe and do lasting damage to our 217-year-old nation of laws — while actually doing nothing to protect the nation from terrorists. Democrats betray their principles to avoid last-minute attack ads. Our democracy is the big loser.

Republicans say Congress must act right now to create procedures for charging and trying terrorists — because the men accused of plotting the 9/11 attacks are available for trial. That’s pure propaganda. Those men could have been tried and convicted long ago, but President Bush chose not to. He held them in illegal detention, had them questioned in ways that will make real trials very hard, and invented a transparently illegal system of kangaroo courts to convict them.

It was only after the Supreme Court issued the inevitable ruling striking down Mr. Bush’s shadow penal system that he adopted his tone of urgency. It serves a cynical goal: Republican strategists think they can win this fall, not by passing a good law but by forcing Democrats to vote against a bad one so they could be made to look soft on terrorism.

Last week, the White House and three Republican senators announced a terrible deal on this legislation that gave Mr. Bush most of what he wanted, including a blanket waiver for crimes Americans may have committed in the service of his antiterrorism policies. Then Vice President Dick Cheney and his willing lawmakers rewrote the rest of the measure so that it would give Mr. Bush the power to jail pretty much anyone he wants for as long as he wants without charging them, to unilaterally reinterpret the Geneva Conventions, to authorize what normal people consider torture, and to deny justice to hundreds of men captured in error.

These are some of the bill’s biggest flaws:

Enemy Combatants: A dangerously broad definition of “illegal enemy combatant” in the bill could subject legal residents of the United States, as well as foreign citizens living in their own countries, to summary arrest and indefinite detention with no hope of appeal. The president could give the power to apply this label to anyone he wanted.

The Geneva Conventions: The bill would repudiate a half-century of international precedent by allowing Mr. Bush to decide on his own what abusive interrogation methods he considered permissible. And his decision could stay secret — there’s no requirement that this list be published.

Habeas Corpus: Detainees in U.S. military prisons would lose the basic right to challenge their imprisonment. These cases do not clog the courts, nor coddle terrorists. They simply give wrongly imprisoned people a chance to prove their innocence.

Judicial Review: The courts would have no power to review any aspect of this new system, except verdicts by military tribunals. The bill would limit appeals and bar legal actions based on the Geneva Conventions, directly or indirectly. All Mr. Bush would have to do to lock anyone up forever is to declare him an illegal combatant and not have a trial.

Coerced Evidence: Coerced evidence would be permissible if a judge considered it reliable — already a contradiction in terms — and relevant. Coercion is defined in a way that exempts anything done before the passage of the 2005 Detainee Treatment Act, and anything else Mr. Bush chooses.

Secret Evidence: American standards of justice prohibit evidence and testimony that is kept secret from the defendant, whether the accused is a corporate executive or a mass murderer. But the bill as redrafted by Mr. Cheney seems to weaken protections against such evidence.

Offenses: The definition of torture is unacceptably narrow, a virtual reprise of the deeply cynical memos the administration produced after 9/11. Rape and sexual assault are defined in a retrograde way that covers only forced or coerced activity, and not other forms of nonconsensual sex. The bill would effectively eliminate the idea of rape as torture.

•There is not enough time to fix these bills, especially since the few Republicans who call themselves moderates have been whipped into line, and the Democratic leadership in the Senate seems to have misplaced its spine. If there was ever a moment for a filibuster, this was it.

We don’t blame the Democrats for being frightened. The Republicans have made it clear that they’ll use any opportunity to brand anyone who votes against this bill as a terrorist enabler. But Americans of the future won’t remember the pragmatic arguments for caving in to the administration.

They’ll know that in 2006, Congress passed a tyrannical law that will be ranked with the low points in American democracy, our generation’s version of the Alien and Sedition Acts.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Better than I could ever say it:



Borrowed from AmericaBlog.

Monday, September 25, 2006

A very big deal

This is a huge deal.

Sunday's NY Times discussed an unreleased government report from the NIE that allegedly claims that the invasion of Iraq has HURT the overall war against terrorism.

(I've been making that argument for quite a long time, and I'm not that bright. So what does it tell you that Bush is still denying it?)

Anyway, Team Bush is denying that the Times accurately portrayed the gist of the report, but they refuse to actually release the report. Hurm...

So tell your friends about this, have them read the Times article, and get people talking about this.

This is definitive governmental proof that Bush has weakened us by his foolish invastion of a non-threatening, harmless country. Feckless fool.

More Cincy Republicans

In a bit of irony, the Cincy Republicans stole one from the Steelers yesterday. And just like a real Republican, one of them ended up arrested.

This is their 2nd round pick from 2 years ago who is already serving a 4-game suspension. During the draft 2 years ago, Thurman's immaturity and legal problems were well-known to anyone who dropped $8.95 for a draft guide.

In keeping with his usual frugal behavior, the Bengals owner apparently decided that that was too much money to invest in the draft, so they took Thurman, and look where it's got them.

I've said it before: They're basically my local team and I'm trying really hard to like them...help me out, here Bengals. Stop bringing in bad apples.

And for crying out loud, when the Steelers only rush four guys, you really need to pass protect better.

Friday, September 22, 2006

Thanks!!...for nothing...

Great compromise on torture reached by the Repubs today. So the president agreed not to re-write the Geneva conventions, but to simply keep on violating them.

In return, McCain and friends will not retro-actively legalize Bush's past violations, but will also not punish him for future, ongoing violations.

Great deal!

And I want to thank the Dems who did NOTHING this week.

Way to let the right-wing morons control the entire debate and craft an entirely ludicrous agreement that makes our country look like the criminals that Bush is turning us into.

Thanks for nothing!

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Historical Evidence

Still feeling pretty lousy. Thanks for the well-wishing emails! Hope to be back to regular posting soon.

In the meantime, please make sure you read this, from the author of Lapdogs.

Historically, the only president to ever poll this low for this long in his 2nd term was Nixon, and he had criminal charges facing him.

But that's not the astounding part. As Boehlert makes clear, the crazy thing is how little the traditional media want to talk about it.

Enjoy!