Onion Resurgence

Check out this piece from the Onion. What makes it so funny is how true it is.

Think of this the next time you hear our rich bastard candidates talk about the struggles of the working man.

American Terrorists

According to Pres Bush, about 50% of the country are now terrorists!!!

No, they aren't just people who disagree with Republicans. They are terrorists.

I expect the feds to be here soon to pick me up. Nice knowing you all.

Privacy shmivacy

Enjoy.

The Google. Jesus.

I realize that older people don't always keep up with technology. Remember when Bush 41 was completely unaware of electronic scanners at grocery stores?

However, it's an absurd reality when we have leaders who are so out of touch with what we plebs do on a daily basis. Take the Internet.

A month or so ago we had Senator Stevens (R) talking about how the Internet is "a series of tubes." The Daily Show mocked his comments, but it's difficult to make fun of something that is already that ridiculous.

Recently a reporter asked Bush 43 if he has ever Googled anyone or anything. W's response: “Occasionally. One of the things I’ve used on the Google is to pull up maps."

I guess I blame their aides, mostly. Who else is responsible for making sure that these people stay in touch with the people over whom they are presiding?

The Google. Hold on, I need to go use the email.

Think Stink

Don't miss Bill Maher taking conservative think tank's to task.

Freedom dirge

Fifteen years ago, if you had told me that Keith Olbermann would become a beacon of American values in a dark sea of despotism, I would have scoffed.

Little did I foresee how easy it would be for a handful of nefarious Republicans to vitiate the most fundamental American beliefs, or how willingly the Democrats, the media, and the public would go along for the despairing ride.

Here's Olbermann doing what he can to save us from ourselves.

Hobbies

Have you ever wistfully pined about not having a hobby?

Well, check out this guy and reconsider. Maybe you're better off without one.

The Report

I love Stephen Colbert because he's able to deal with all of the Republican devilry and still poke fun at it. Perfect example.

Me? I just get ornery.

Kill the puppet 2.

An article in the local paper sites several sources all claiming that recent polling shows Northup and Yarmuth in a dead heat.

Northup has a LOT more money and is airing a lot of negative Yarmuth ads, but I'm not sure if that's going to matter.

People finally seem unsettled by all the turmoil in the country and are starting to realize who to blame. So Northup can slander Yarmuth all day, but ultimately it comes down to this:

Who is responsible for all the problems we're now facing? Not Yarmuth. Not the Dems who've had no power at all for 4 years.

And that's why Dems might take both houses of Congress in 21 days. All they have to do is not be Republicans.

Of course, if they don't get some vision and strategy, it'll all be for nothing.

Kill the puppet.

With elections just 22 days away, national Dems have finally realized that rubber-stamp Republican Ann Northup is not a lock to beat John Yarmuth for KY's 3rd Congressional District seat.

Like most cities, Louisville is fairly liberal and gets quickly more conservative as you leave downtown and start heading to the burbs. So there are certainly votes to be had for Yarmuth.

Last I heard, neither camp was willing to release internal polling data, which I interpret as a good sign for Yarmuth...reasoning that if Northup's polling showed her crushing Yarmuth, then I'm sure she'd be trumpeting that as often as possible in an attempt to make Yarmuth seem like a neophyte with no chance, subsequently telling voters: "Why even get to know him when he has no shot at all?"

With Yarmuth not releasing his polling data either, my guess is that they both have him 8-9% behind Northup; not enough for her to brag about, not enough for him to predict an upset.

Northup doesn't deserve her seat. She has enabled Bush on every misguided (and sometimes illegal) initiative he's put forth. She has no desire to act as a check or balance, brazenly telling constituents that she'll do what Bush tells her if elected.

Another puppet.

Cut the strings, 3rd district! Cut the freaking strings!

Heads, I win. Tails, you lose.

From the backwards world of Bill O'Reilly:

"Now, the reason North Korea is causing trouble is that it wants to influence the November election. As we discussed last week, Iran's doing the same thing in Iraq -- ramping up the violence so Americans will turn against the Bush administration.

That is not a partisan statement. It is a fact. America's enemies are emboldened by the stalemate in Iraq and feel they can do anything they want to do. They also hate Mr. Bush and want to weaken him as much as possible."


Get the message?

If things are going well in Iraq, it's because Bush is doing a great job and so we should vote Republican to support him.

If things are going poorly in Iraq, it's because Bush is doing a great job and so we should vote Republican to support him.

See? Bill is fair and balanced.

Fear confirmation

I'm not just making this shit up. The Wash Post agrees:

"...At the same time, the White House plans to amplify national security issues, especially the threat of terrorism, after North Korea's reported nuclear test, in hopes of shifting the debate away from casualties and controversy during the final month of the campaign."

You scared yet?

Answered prayers

Rove's prayers have been answered in the form of North Korea testing a nuclear missile.

Bad news for the world? Absolutely. Great news for Rove? Definitely.

Now they can move away from Foley's pedophilia, Woodward's damning accusations, and Iraq's ongoing catastrophes, and get back to what they do best: FEAR!!

Time for a new bete noir. Be afraid, America. If you don't vote Republican, then North Korean communism has already won!

Don't get me wrong. This situation has to be dealt with. But please note that Bush has done NOTHING to engage North Korea or diffuse this situation for years. He labeled N. Korea a member of the "axis of evil" and then ignored it. He even denigrated Clinton's successful engagement policy.

So don't let Bush play the fear card over this. This is a threat only because of his ongoing and inexcusable incompetence as a leader.

This is a failure for which he should be ashamed. Instead, Rove will try to portray it as an unfortunate threat to which Bush will stand up.

And the media? They'll play right along.

Happy freaking holidays

Enjoy an early, non-denominational present, liberal heathen swine.

And to the other parents out there, please enjoy this.

Damn, it's good to be king.

President Bush, again defying Congress, says he has the power to edit the Homeland Security Department’s reports about whether it obeys privacy rules while handling background checks, ID cards and watchlists.

In the law Bush signed Wednesday, Congress stated no one but the privacy officer could alter, delay or prohibit the mandatory annual report on Homeland Security department activities that affect privacy, including complaints.

But Bush, in a signing statement attached to the agency’s 2007 spending bill, said he will interpret that section “in a manner consistent with the President’s constitutional authority to supervise the unitary executive branch.”


So exactly what can't the prez do? Does this sound remotely like a democratic system of checks and balances?

I wish I could interpret the constitution at my whim.

(Thanks to TPM for highlighting this info)

I made Ken Mehlman gay!

No, not in that way.

After the recent success liberals experienced in turning Rep. Foley into a pedophile, I decided to use my liberal powers of darkness on Ken Mehlman. I conjured a cathexis of my left-wing beliefs and successfully changed Mehlman's sexual orientation.

The difference is subtle, but it's there. Take a close look the next time you see him on television. When your gadar starts going off, you'll know I've done it.

Muuhahahahaha!!!!

Next task: turn Cheney into a tranny!

YOU made Foley into a pedophile.

If you support gay rights, gay marriage, freedom of lifestyles, and generally respect for "the pursuit of happiness" as long as it does not harm others, then YOU made Rep. Foley into a pedophile.

The Wall St. Journal, Michelle Malkin, Limbaugh, Cal Thomas, and other right-wing hacks are actually laying the blame of Foley's pedophilia on our "liberal, post-modern culture."

Every time I ask, "Are there no depths to which this trash won't sink?" The answer keeps coming back, "Hell fucking no."

It's disgraceful that these people and media have any credibility at all in our culture. They are despicable, partisan hypocrites who seek to vitiate the marketplace of ideas with lies and dissembling, not foster honest discussion and analysis.


While I hate to see it come at the expense of the pages and their families, the fact that the Repubs tried to cover it up is making life very, very difficult for my buddy Rove.

With this disgusting scandal, Woodward's new book, continued deaths in Iraq, Condi caught lying again, etc., Rove's playbook for the fall elections is totally out the window.

Instead of attacking, they're defending constantly, and looking worse and worse in the eyes of the public.


Anyway, back to you. When Clinton had an affair with another consenting adult, that was him showing that he is a profligate, vile bastard.

When Foley attempted to seduce and bonk teenage boys working at Congress, that was your fault, you liberal loser.

The Values Party!!!

So, Repub. Congressman Foley resigned a few days back for emailing and IMing with teenage boys who worked at Congress during the summer. Some of the highlights include him:

+ Asking a kid, "Do I make you a little horny?"
+ Asking a kid, "Did you spank it this weekend yourself?"
+ Asking a kid if he was wearing his boxers and urging him to sit back and "relax" while they chat
+ Asking kids for pictures of themselves

Further, there have been reports that Foley had a known issue with boys since 2001, and possibly since 1998. Fortunately, the Republicans gave the issue the old "Catholic church" treatment and kept the lid on it.

So Bush, the head of the "values party" is surely going to condemn this pervert who has been predating on teenagers, right?

Wrong.

White House Press Secretary Tony Snow went on CNN and said, "... there have been other scandals as you know that have been more than simply naughty emails."


Please, take a second, and IMAGINE if this had been Ted Kennedy or Howard Dean or Barack Obama. Just imagine the fallout, the right-wing screeching, Limbaugh's utter outrage, Coulter's hysterics.

Just imagine. But hey, it's just naughty emails, right?

Ahhh, it's good to be the values party, particularly when you only apply those values to judge other people.

Worthless scum.