Highly Agitated

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Well, fuck

So my toddler can now pronouce a reasonable faximile of "God-damn motherfucker." No idea where he gets this shit.

Which means that it's time for me to (A) curb my language, and (B) keep my kids away from potty-mouth Uncle Jason of the Gargantua dynasty.

So how do I clean up the language? I see two plans.

First, I could go cold turkey, stop cursing, and watch my blood pressure increase until it makes the vacuum of deep space seem comfy.

Alternately, I could start posting even more expletives here in a cathartic effort to work out my daily agitation.

So, are there any profane fathers (GREAT name for a band!) out there who have faced this dilemma? Any advice?

posted by Highly Agitated at 8/24/2006 04:58:00 PM

6 Comments:

  • Been there, done that! There's not much you can do, but I did have this problem also. My "fix" was to start using alternative cuss words around my son..."dag blastit, frack, britches, son of a britch. They let you get out the needed pressure, but if your son repeats any of them, it's not quite as bad. And yes, you should feel free to let it all out here, heck! that's what blogs are for, right!

    By Blogger Forcemaster2000, at 5:36 AM  

  • Fuck yeah, the Lil' Man's coming along!!...my work here has only just begun...

    Uncle Jason.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 12:57 PM  

  • When you cuss (and you will), and your kid repeats it (and he will),try distracting him with other, more innocent words that sound the same. My 3yr old was in a Harry Potter freakout stage, so son-of-a-bitch became "golden snitch." Now all cuss words are "golden snitch" words, and all I have to do is tell him that !@%*! is a golden snitch word and he can't say it until he's older. Works great, nobody else knows what the hell you're talking about, AND gives him something to look forward to.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:06 PM  

  • Excellent! Thanks for the suggestions, all.

    I'm also trying to come up with new innocuous yet gratifying curses. I'm going to start with "rat-bag." No idea what it means, but it's more satisfying than "darn" for me.

    Keep up coming!

    By Blogger Highly Agitated, at 12:50 PM  

  • Em. Keep em coming, I meant. Duh.

    By Blogger Highly Agitated, at 12:51 PM  

  • You've already modified your lifestyle enough, don't you think? I say, keep up the cursing and let the PTA and guidance counselors deal with it.

    Shitfuckpiss.

    By Blogger 481, at 8:10 AM  

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